What does it matter?
Week 21: earnings and learnings
The last couple of weeks have been one of the most difficult weeks of my life, and this week was particularly hard.
I'm not ready to write about it because it hurts too much.
Substack and The Bored Millennial were the last things on my mind during the turmoil. I could barely bring myself to read or react to comments, send my personal welcome message to new subscribers or post notes.
It just didn't matter.
I had a whole PR plan written out, but I only managed to post one newsletter on Tuesday, an article I wrote months ago.
It just doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter now, but I know it will matter again in the coming weeks, and I will pick up my routine and get back in the game. I just need time for myself and peace, calm, and quietness.
Going through this made it again clear to me. I'm not your average hustler. I can't keep up the grind and consistency if my life is turned upside down.
It shows me again how misleading and destructive the hustling narrative can be. How people continue when they are going through something rough remains a mystery to me. But it's probably an escape route for many, not allowing themselves to feel their emotions.
These days, I'm holding on to the power of now. It's how I'm getting through it: by trying to be present as much as possible. Thinking of the past or the future hurts, but if I'm in the present, I'm okay. This is my escape route. Most of the time, it hurts a lot in the present, too, but then I accept my emotions and let them stream out of my body— by crying.
I trust that, in the long run, everything will be fine.
I don't have much energy to write more than this.
I hope you understand.
Earnings
I emailed a story on Tuesday and added a short promo piece at the end. Three new paid subscribers joined afterward! It’s a good story, so if you want to read more, check it out here:
I've lost 1 paid subscriber this week, and 1 gifted subscription didn't prolong.
The Bored Millennial kept growing steadily, and we now have 3449 subscribers. I added a new column to the spreadsheet with my followers on substack. I'm getting close to 5000.
What I loved this week
Not much.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for sticking with me.
I'll be back soon, I promise.
With love,
Marie
Sorry to hear this Marie, but know you're not alone, and I for one can resonate.
Take your time, and only write and share what and when feels right. 💛
Sending you lots of strength, stranger on the internet.
Was reading today (The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control) that balance doesn't exist. It's a myth. Life always happens. Unforeseen circumstances are the rules, not the exception. We can't fit life on a to-do list, and people who say they can do it (aka hustlers) either lie or are emotionally stunted.
Just a reminder from a fellow stranger: take your time and be kind to yourself.