About the subscribers, there's been a glitch hitting everybody it seems. I hope that helps a little ❤️
About the impulse to do (what seems like) random things: you just said goodbye to an old version of you which was familiar to you.
You making all these plans makes sense when you look at what I think might be going on: A) You are hurting and want to get away from that, and B) You are looking forward to a future you know, in the deepest of your soul, is better for you.
It is scary as fuck, and I know how much all this hurts (believe me). Feel the feelings, and day by day things will get better. And you will create the life you got sprouting right there, between the cracks of your heart.
Marie, I am sorry for your loss, regardless of if you chose it or not. These kinds of losses can feel like a death. The death of a future you held so tightly. I always described it as turning off the light, left with blackness.
I truly do believe these moments can be the most transformative, though. In a profound way, if we let them. When I got divorced, I remember my dad saying, "Some people turn sour, bitter at the world, and some become better from it, more loving, more kind. Be that person." I'm 100% you will be that person.
I also had a boss give me some advice. He said take your time to figure out what you want, it will change and evolve. For me, I immediately wanted to move home across the country to my family (which it seems you did, but you didn't have a home). I'm glad I didn't jump on my first idea, or my tenth. I gave myself time to settle and the thing I felt most pulled to was a year later, quitting my job and traveling by myself. That experience became the most profound of my life so far. I know it was right. So that would be my advice, give yourself time.
My heart is with you. You will be okay though. Better than okay.
Mikaela, your comment is so thoughtful and so full of wisdom 🧡🥹 I know I will be that person indeed, just like you are. And indeed, time is what I need to give to myself now. I won't jump on the first thing, but I also will follow my gut and allow myself to take chances when it feels completely right.
Wow Mikaela, the wisdom from your dad "Some people turn sour, bitter at the world, and some become better from it, more loving, more kind. Be that person."
Thank you for sharing that advice and a slice of your story 😊
Hi Marie! I just recently went through a break up as well, about 2 months ago and am very sorry to hear about yours. Your articles have been a consistent source of inspiration about the future (especially the “Deathbed Mindset”) from “You need to know this one weird visualization method” published on July 16th. I’d like to think I speak for all readers of The Bored Millennial when I say that we are thinking of you, and know that you can most certainly do it (with or without a broken heart).
Thank you thank you thank you, Andrew. Such kind words. 🥹 And I'm so sorry to hear you are going through the same. We know we are not alone going something like this, but it does feels lonely sometimes. 💔 Hope you are doing better now? I know these things take time!
You know.. it’s really hard writing this. It’s hard when it’s not going well ánd write about it. Most people just write about the bad stuff when it’s good again or better. So cheers for your authenticity. ❤️
Sorry to hear that. Please look after yourself, go and enjoy the Gentse Feesten and don't feel like you need to do or decide anything right now. Nothing needs to be decided now, it'll all still be here when you get back.
I did enjoy the Gentse Feesten, it was a perfect time to be surrounded by my friends and it gave me energy. So happy I went. Thank you for your kind words Sophie, it means a lot!
When I went through my divorce, I almost needed proof of my power, I think? I knew I as capable and smart and had lots to give, and I think I felt similar to you when you say you were thinking you could do all these random things— and hardly even thought about the one thing - your writing on Substack - that is nearest to your heart. I think deep down, you know this is you. You will come back to it. You will come back when you have spent time with this grief and new life - new beginning!!- you are facing.
Honestly, my divorce was so painful, but in so many ways, was the birthplace of the real me.
You are going to grow and bloom and be surrounded by so many who really get you and value you.
Hang in there. It takes time to blossom, and remember that growth happens when life is in its most vulnerable, tender stages… think of a baby and how much they grow, or a plant - the new growth is the tender green tendrils…
Thank you so much for sharing your own story and experience, that is not easy, but I really appreciate it. It makes me feel seen and understood 🧡 And although I'm sorry you went through a painful divorce, it's also beautiful and inspiring to hear it was the birthplace for the real you.
I'm already feeling better than last week and leaning back towards Substack! So that's a great improvement. Small steps 😊 I'm sure breakdowns will follow again, but that's how it is.
Keep your chin up Marie! I am going through the same now, and things will get better. Just be as present as you can, and ask yourself one very important question that seems to solve my problems, especially romantic relationships.
'What problem do you have right now, not 5 years from now, 1 week from now, in 5 minutes, but right now? What is wrong with this moment?'. I hope your answer to this is 'Nothing'.
Stefano, thank you so much for your words here. I'm so sorry you are going through the same now, but reading the comments, we are not alone 🧡 and I love how this community is coming together for support.
Also YES to your question, I love love love it and have used it a lot as well. I got it from reading The Power of Now from Eckhart Tolle, truly transformative.
Hey thanks for your vulnerability Marie and for your share. I feel like you've pulled back a curtain on the individual behind 'the hustle', and how easy it can be for the best laid plans to become upended.
It sometimes feels like we're climbing a mountain, our goal is the peak, it's so clear, and the reward within reach. And then as we get nearer to 'the top', a landslide occurs, taking the peak with it and revealing an infinite roil of mountains stretching into the horizon.
At times like this, I can't help but ask: "What the hell am I doing? Where am I going?"
I often have to remind myself that our journey is our journey. It might be painful, but we can still move forward.
Thank you for sharing your journey, and I hope you rediscover your mountain.
Scott, this is hands down the best comparison of how it feels right now. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm sure I will rediscover my mountain and I'm curious which mountain it will be!
It’s fascinating and cruel how our minds and emotions behave in such extraordinary circumstances. I guess the “escape” urge comes quite naturally and for some people it might be the way to go to heal for some time while others do best with a solid support environment. And then again, maybe it’s a mix of both.
The sheer fact that you can see these different tendencies and even respond to them with a gentle “let’s calm down and see what my inner world looks like in a week” is wise, brave and incredibly strong.
Do not force anything. Neither in real life nor online. Be kind. Be gentle and compassionate. And cuddle with Lola 🐾🤍
Oh Marie, sending you the biggest hug right now. You are such a genuine soul and I know beautiful things are in store for you, whatever you choose to do next, even though if life is so hard right now. 💔 Cheering you on from afar. 💕
Thank you so so much Megan ❤️ you are so kind and I feel your hug and cheers all the way here in Belgium. There's no time or space needed to feel it when it's genuine. Means a lot, truly
Marie, just be and let it pass. It’s not easy I know. But you deserve rest and slowness now. Take no pressure to do better. We hear you and will always be there for you.
My beautiful, goofy, warm-hearted dog got diagnosed with heart failure in March. He was still young. A congenital condition that hadn’t been picked up. I had been working towards launching Substack when the diagnosis came. Through his illness, having Substack, the community, a place and a reason to channel what matters to me, helped so much. But then, when I had to say goodbye, everything I had been working towards felt meaningless. Some people may think he is just a dog, but he was there in all of my future plans. I was building a life around him and for him.
I find it incredible that through your loss you was able to write this: a beautifully written and moving piece. I hope you have been finding your way 💖
Thank you so much for sharing your story @B.S.Weaves. I completely understand it has been super hard losing your dog. I have been there. Dogs are such an important part of our life. I’m doing better now, thank you. But indeed, nothing felt like it mattered anymore at the time and I’m picking back up everything… slowly :) how are you in the mean time?
Hi Marie, I hope you're alright. I'm sorry for your loss. Pain is an inevitable part of life. But it teaches us to value ourselves more. Despite the challenges, you're gradually building your life once again. That's wonderful. Take your time. We're all here to support you.
Thank you Vinay. I'm so grateful for all the overwhelming support over here. I know pain is part of life. And it's something I have to get through, which I will. Thanks again!!
About the subscribers, there's been a glitch hitting everybody it seems. I hope that helps a little ❤️
About the impulse to do (what seems like) random things: you just said goodbye to an old version of you which was familiar to you.
You making all these plans makes sense when you look at what I think might be going on: A) You are hurting and want to get away from that, and B) You are looking forward to a future you know, in the deepest of your soul, is better for you.
It is scary as fuck, and I know how much all this hurts (believe me). Feel the feelings, and day by day things will get better. And you will create the life you got sprouting right there, between the cracks of your heart.
Thank you so much for this Maggie, yes to everything you say, it's indeed like that. 🧡 Just gotta sit through the scary parts right now.
Yep, it is scary. But it will lead to a better life 💪
Agree with Maggie here, my intel reported that it's a glitch. (phew!)
I guess in our life, we are bound to face some hardships. Feeling the pain and allowing yourself to experience it is crucial for your own development.
As tough as it is, each day brings a bit more clarity and healing. You got this Marie! 🧡
Thank you too, for being vulnerable.
Thank you Sol 🧡🥹
🧡
Marie, I am sorry for your loss, regardless of if you chose it or not. These kinds of losses can feel like a death. The death of a future you held so tightly. I always described it as turning off the light, left with blackness.
I truly do believe these moments can be the most transformative, though. In a profound way, if we let them. When I got divorced, I remember my dad saying, "Some people turn sour, bitter at the world, and some become better from it, more loving, more kind. Be that person." I'm 100% you will be that person.
I also had a boss give me some advice. He said take your time to figure out what you want, it will change and evolve. For me, I immediately wanted to move home across the country to my family (which it seems you did, but you didn't have a home). I'm glad I didn't jump on my first idea, or my tenth. I gave myself time to settle and the thing I felt most pulled to was a year later, quitting my job and traveling by myself. That experience became the most profound of my life so far. I know it was right. So that would be my advice, give yourself time.
My heart is with you. You will be okay though. Better than okay.
Mikaela, your comment is so thoughtful and so full of wisdom 🧡🥹 I know I will be that person indeed, just like you are. And indeed, time is what I need to give to myself now. I won't jump on the first thing, but I also will follow my gut and allow myself to take chances when it feels completely right.
You got this. ❤️🩹
Your dad is an incredible wise man, his words are so warm and powerful 🤍
Wow Mikaela, the wisdom from your dad "Some people turn sour, bitter at the world, and some become better from it, more loving, more kind. Be that person."
Thank you for sharing that advice and a slice of your story 😊
Hi Marie! I just recently went through a break up as well, about 2 months ago and am very sorry to hear about yours. Your articles have been a consistent source of inspiration about the future (especially the “Deathbed Mindset”) from “You need to know this one weird visualization method” published on July 16th. I’d like to think I speak for all readers of The Bored Millennial when I say that we are thinking of you, and know that you can most certainly do it (with or without a broken heart).
Sending all the best!
-Andrew
Thank you thank you thank you, Andrew. Such kind words. 🥹 And I'm so sorry to hear you are going through the same. We know we are not alone going something like this, but it does feels lonely sometimes. 💔 Hope you are doing better now? I know these things take time!
Sending support. It takes so much courage to share your vulnerability online. You are building something special here. 🤍
Thank you Courtney 🧡🥹
You know.. it’s really hard writing this. It’s hard when it’s not going well ánd write about it. Most people just write about the bad stuff when it’s good again or better. So cheers for your authenticity. ❤️
Dankjewel Anneleen ❤️❤️❤️ but it helped me a lot to proces while writing it all down.
You helped yourself and you helped everyone who’s going through the same stuff. ❤️
Sorry to hear that. Please look after yourself, go and enjoy the Gentse Feesten and don't feel like you need to do or decide anything right now. Nothing needs to be decided now, it'll all still be here when you get back.
I did enjoy the Gentse Feesten, it was a perfect time to be surrounded by my friends and it gave me energy. So happy I went. Thank you for your kind words Sophie, it means a lot!
Hi Marie,
When I went through my divorce, I almost needed proof of my power, I think? I knew I as capable and smart and had lots to give, and I think I felt similar to you when you say you were thinking you could do all these random things— and hardly even thought about the one thing - your writing on Substack - that is nearest to your heart. I think deep down, you know this is you. You will come back to it. You will come back when you have spent time with this grief and new life - new beginning!!- you are facing.
Honestly, my divorce was so painful, but in so many ways, was the birthplace of the real me.
You are going to grow and bloom and be surrounded by so many who really get you and value you.
Hang in there. It takes time to blossom, and remember that growth happens when life is in its most vulnerable, tender stages… think of a baby and how much they grow, or a plant - the new growth is the tender green tendrils…
Hi Gayle,
Thank you so much for sharing your own story and experience, that is not easy, but I really appreciate it. It makes me feel seen and understood 🧡 And although I'm sorry you went through a painful divorce, it's also beautiful and inspiring to hear it was the birthplace for the real you.
I'm already feeling better than last week and leaning back towards Substack! So that's a great improvement. Small steps 😊 I'm sure breakdowns will follow again, but that's how it is.
Thank you again!
Keep your chin up Marie! I am going through the same now, and things will get better. Just be as present as you can, and ask yourself one very important question that seems to solve my problems, especially romantic relationships.
'What problem do you have right now, not 5 years from now, 1 week from now, in 5 minutes, but right now? What is wrong with this moment?'. I hope your answer to this is 'Nothing'.
Take care of yourself!
Stefano, thank you so much for your words here. I'm so sorry you are going through the same now, but reading the comments, we are not alone 🧡 and I love how this community is coming together for support.
Also YES to your question, I love love love it and have used it a lot as well. I got it from reading The Power of Now from Eckhart Tolle, truly transformative.
I got it from the same book 😄😄😄
Sometimes things have to end to make space for what’s meant to be. I know there are great things coming your way.
Stay strong and keep pushing even when you don’t feel like it.
Stefano dropping that wisdom gem 💎
I love that question you asked!
Hey thanks for your vulnerability Marie and for your share. I feel like you've pulled back a curtain on the individual behind 'the hustle', and how easy it can be for the best laid plans to become upended.
It sometimes feels like we're climbing a mountain, our goal is the peak, it's so clear, and the reward within reach. And then as we get nearer to 'the top', a landslide occurs, taking the peak with it and revealing an infinite roil of mountains stretching into the horizon.
At times like this, I can't help but ask: "What the hell am I doing? Where am I going?"
I often have to remind myself that our journey is our journey. It might be painful, but we can still move forward.
Thank you for sharing your journey, and I hope you rediscover your mountain.
Scott, this is hands down the best comparison of how it feels right now. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm sure I will rediscover my mountain and I'm curious which mountain it will be!
It’s fascinating and cruel how our minds and emotions behave in such extraordinary circumstances. I guess the “escape” urge comes quite naturally and for some people it might be the way to go to heal for some time while others do best with a solid support environment. And then again, maybe it’s a mix of both.
The sheer fact that you can see these different tendencies and even respond to them with a gentle “let’s calm down and see what my inner world looks like in a week” is wise, brave and incredibly strong.
Do not force anything. Neither in real life nor online. Be kind. Be gentle and compassionate. And cuddle with Lola 🐾🤍
Lola's getting so much love these days haha ❤️ so happy I have her. Thank you for your endless support Fabienne. I will never forget it.
There’s a saying about dogs: 1 dog is 1 dog. 2 dogs is ten dogs
😂 that saying is absolutely FACTS
Oh Marie, sending you the biggest hug right now. You are such a genuine soul and I know beautiful things are in store for you, whatever you choose to do next, even though if life is so hard right now. 💔 Cheering you on from afar. 💕
Thank you so so much Megan ❤️ you are so kind and I feel your hug and cheers all the way here in Belgium. There's no time or space needed to feel it when it's genuine. Means a lot, truly
Marie, just be and let it pass. It’s not easy I know. But you deserve rest and slowness now. Take no pressure to do better. We hear you and will always be there for you.
🧡 thank you Shanjitha. I'm overwhelmed by all this amazing support, and it gives me the energy I need right now.
Oh wow… I really feel for you.
My beautiful, goofy, warm-hearted dog got diagnosed with heart failure in March. He was still young. A congenital condition that hadn’t been picked up. I had been working towards launching Substack when the diagnosis came. Through his illness, having Substack, the community, a place and a reason to channel what matters to me, helped so much. But then, when I had to say goodbye, everything I had been working towards felt meaningless. Some people may think he is just a dog, but he was there in all of my future plans. I was building a life around him and for him.
I find it incredible that through your loss you was able to write this: a beautifully written and moving piece. I hope you have been finding your way 💖
Thank you so much for sharing your story @B.S.Weaves. I completely understand it has been super hard losing your dog. I have been there. Dogs are such an important part of our life. I’m doing better now, thank you. But indeed, nothing felt like it mattered anymore at the time and I’m picking back up everything… slowly :) how are you in the mean time?
Hi Marie, I hope you're alright. I'm sorry for your loss. Pain is an inevitable part of life. But it teaches us to value ourselves more. Despite the challenges, you're gradually building your life once again. That's wonderful. Take your time. We're all here to support you.
Thank you Vinay. I'm so grateful for all the overwhelming support over here. I know pain is part of life. And it's something I have to get through, which I will. Thanks again!!
It’s my first time meeting you, and I’m sharing a bus load of love for you in this period of change.
Thank you so much Isaiah 🧡🧡 it's lovely to meet you 🥹
Same here. Somehow, it’s interesting how you can feel another person‘s vibes without seeing them.