I finally made the decision I needed to make months ago.

I'm choosing freedom.

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I've made the most important decision.

Everything became crystal clear during a walk in the Flemish countryside. All I needed to do was take out my phone, type in the amount I wanted to invest in myself, and divide it by the number of months left this year.

The number I saw on the screen made me decide:

I'm taking a sabbatical.

Yes, it took me 4 months to say it out loud and make this decision.

For too long, I've held on to the idea "I need to make money."

But gradually, over the months, I've realized that freedom is what I need right now. I don't want to be stuck in a job or commit to anything that doesn't give me energy. I'm slowing down in life. I'm discovering what fuels me instead of forcing myself to do things that drain me.

From now on, no more forcing.

Of course, life always comes with struggles, and I'm ready to face those. But today, I'm fully choosing myself.

And it feels so so so good.

This newsletter, The Bored Millennial, is a part of myself. So naturally, I'll keep writing and try to figure out how and if I want this to become something more. Do I want to expand the Paid Tier? Do I want to offer something more than my writing?

I trust time will tell.

But here, again, I don't want to force anything.

I'm stopping my "ghostwriting business". But honestly, can we even call that a business? I hate searching for clients; I barely did it. I feel very insecure writing for others; it's the complete opposite when I write for myself. It doesn't flow. I still hate LinkedIn. I will finish the one project I'm working on. But that's it.

I didn't give it enough or try hard enough, but every cell in my body resisted. I'm not a hustler. I can't do it when it doesn't feel right.

I've forced myself to work for others for years.

I can't do it anymore.

Am I a coward? Opting for the easy road?

Maybe.

Although investing all my time and money in myself takes guts too. I know I'’m going against society's expectations, and I'm choosing the unconventional path.

But I'm going all in. Let's see what the universe has in store for me.

How will I pay for my sabbatical?

I've assigned a budget of 20,000 euros until December 2025, which is 2,200 euros a month (more than I ever earned as an employee). And if I handle this money smart, I could expand the time a bit longer.

It's the biggest investment in myself ever.

I have no idea what this life will bring me and where I will end up.

I'll do some travelling. But I also love spending slow days at home. Moments with my friends and family have become the best thing I've rediscovered since I'm back in Belgium.

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For years, I felt alone. Like I was drifting in a boat, alone at sea, with no shore in sight and nothing to hold on to. Today, I'm back at the shore. My best friends and my family are standing with their arms wide open, welcoming me back into their lives and I, welcoming them back into mine.

My nieces love their 'auntie Marie'. I've never known I could love little children that much, but their hugs and pureness mean the world to me.

My sweet Lola is turning into the best dog ever. She's one year old now and a real lady.

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Of course, it's not all bright and shiny.

I have trouble cooking decent meals for myself. I just hate to cook for one person.

I still cry a lot during therapy sessions.

I still feel deep loneliness and hurt.

I crave human touch.

But I know I'm healing.

And choosing myself, this sabbatical, is a step closer to feeling whole again.

I know, deep down, it's the right choice.

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Thank you for being on my side during this journey.

Big love,

Marie.