16 Comments

I know how you feel - I realized that recently as well. I write about vulnerable things (neurodivergence, mental health struggles) and at first I was terrified of people from my 'real life' finding me. But after a while, I started getting comfortable posting, especially as I saw how it helped the people who read and interacted with my work.

I also realized that those people I was so worried about? They aren't really my people anyway. The online community I'm building is more valuable to me than the random opinions of people I don't even really like. So that made it easier to get vulnerable and push myself to connect.

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It's so easy for anyone to fall into the trap of like, comments, shares, especially when you're seeing positive results of your efforts. It's particularly at that moment is very important to detach yourself from that experience so it doesn't become your whole personality or starts fueling your ego. You have wonderfully described this truth through your personal experience and thank you so much for that. We all can learn a thing or two from this regardless of where we are in our online journey right now. Your presence online is one aspect of life and not your whole life. Thank you for this valuable reminder! 🙏

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Thank you Sonaakshi for taking the time to read and comment 🧡 I couldn't agree more with your words! And I think you first have to go through the experience of getting attached to likes, coments etc to be then able to detach.

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I smiled reading this post, Marie! It’s such a wholesome perspective and I am glad you found this engaged-detachment for your online writing.

It’s funny that I found myself somewhere along your lines. I know I am not fully detached, but with all the things that are currently ongoing in my real life, I also noticed that nothing falls apart in my life when I don’t show up as frequent as I did during previous months. 😘🤍

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Exactly 🧡🧡🧡 and that your readers and fans will stay by your side!!

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It's amazing if you can completely detach yourself from the results you create in creative projects. For instance, it helped me so much to let go of the quality of paintings that I produce. It makes it so much more enjoyable and at the same time leads to much more interesting results. I'm trying to apply the same strategy to my articles, but it's harder since everyone is watching me pouring my soul out haha 😂 getting there.

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Yes, it takes a while to get there. First you have to become very attached, then something needs to happen so you realise it's actually not necessary to be so attached 🙈

Also, it helps me a lot to know this: most people don't think or care about you, they think and care most about themselves. So even if I f*ck it up, the person who will care the most, is me. And nobody else 😊

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Oct 2Liked by Marie Vandoorne

Thank you. This is incredibly helpful and I’m glad you got it right. Do you have any strategies for how you will keep it this way? Or any advice for those of us realizing maybe we are doing the same?

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Hmm not really a strategy, but I think something big happening in my life made it all put into perspective. So saying to yourself 'this is nothing in the grand scheme of things' often, can help - I think 😊 and realizing you are doing the same is already a huge step!

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Oct 6Liked by Marie Vandoorne

Thank you, Marie! You somehow made all of this even more helpful. 🕊️

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Sep 29Liked by Marie Vandoorne

It’s insane how life’s experiences ground us and shift perspectives sometimes, right? Reminds me of a jump into cold water and we gasp for air fully present to the water around us, out of our head…

I had “the worst” month on substack in 4 years, as I wasn’t well and had to deprioritise writing. Also, my first audio in a long time led to quite a few unsubscribes, interestingly…

Im not stressed about it though, knowing that the ups and downs take turns. That gives me peace of mind.

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So so good it didn't stress you out. I notice the same for me, I'm not winding myself up anymore if engagement is lower or a post is not 'succesful' and that brings... peace 🧡

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The perfect balance is caring about something but also feeling detached from it.

It happened to me when my business started going South. I reduced the time I spent on it, trying to make it work with less effort.

And you know what? It's going better than before...

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That's so good, you hear that so often! Indeed, the balance need to be there.

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❤️🐾🌹

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Maybe you doing a video plus seeing everyone is on videos, we watch actors on tv all the time, why not watch ourselves and be interested in the person we see more than say a famous action movie star, or romantic comedy..? 🎭

Your writing is influenced by your surroundings, then your people in your head, the ones you confine in. You have a royalty feel.

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