Why the Bored Millennial?
My story. (Or, at least a part of it.)
I figured updating my 'Hero Post' is way overdue. The original one dates back to March 5, 2024, when I had 58 subscribers. It's an unfinished story — it will always be unfinished. But since my audience has grown a hundredfold and I have evolved a lot as well, I'm rewriting it.
Where does the name 'The Bored Millennial' come from?
I hate to break the news, but I didn't invent it all by myself. I got inspired by the author Emily Henry.
Some time ago, before this Substack even existed, I read her book 'You and Me on Vacation' in Dutch. And I highlighted exactly three sentences in the book:
Rachel drains her glass and globs some Brie onto a cracker, nodding knowingly, "Millennial ennui."
"I don't want to have millennial ennui," I say. "It makes me feel like an asshole to not just be content with my amazing life."
She shrugs. "Maybe not," she says. "But most of us are too scared to even ask what we want, in case we can't have it. Read that in this essay about something called 'millennial ennui.'" I stifle a laugh of surprise, clear my throat. "Kind of a catchy name." "Right?" she says. "Anyway. Good luck."
Emily Henry in You and Me on Vacation
In Dutch, 'Millennial Ennui' translates as De Verveelde Millennial. Literally The Bored Millennial. It struck a chord in me. I knew from that moment that I would call the next thing I do 'The Bored Millennial. '
And that's how I didn't have to think twice when I sat down to create my Substack Newsletter.
Now, WHY did these two simple words have such a profound impact on me?
Let's dig in.
The 'Millennial' Part
The obvious part first: Millennial. I was born in 1991, so I’m a Millennial through and through. I remember a world without smartphones and social media, yet I was young enough to embrace the internet revolution fully.
Millennials bridge two worlds: analog and digital. We witnessed the birth of Facebook, YouTube, and the iPhone. We saw the promises of globalization and the cracks that came with it.
We work hard, but we also question why. We crave meaning, not just a paycheck. Connection, not just "networking." We balance ambition with mental health, striving for success without selling our souls.
It's exhausting.
But I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
And in some way, I guess I’m a bit of a voice here for the millennials. Sharing my struggles in life as openly as possible.
The 'Bored' Part
Now here comes the tricky part—the part I didn't understand for a very, very long time. Only recently things started to click.
I'm a person of extremes. I'm either riding around with my brakes on, or I'm going full speed ahead, ignoring everything on the way.
I either love something or couldn't care less.
There's rarely an in-between phase.
And this never got me into trouble, until I entered the workforce.
My young years
I grew up as a happy, free kid, without worries. We didn't have any shortcomings in life. Always a roof above our heads, enough food to fill our stomachs, toys, clothes, books, holidays, love from our parents, friends, family, and a lovely family dog.
I was a good girl. The oldest. Always caring, always responsible. Barely ever got a complaint. Not from teachers or my parents. And when I did something wrong, everyone was in shock, including me.
I was a really good girl.
At school, I did well. Never exceptionally well, never extremely poor results. Always average. Just how I liked it. No reasons for fusses, no reasons for being the center of attention as 'the best of the class.'
In some courses, I was the best in the class; however. Things like History, World Orientation, or anything culturally related were my favourite subjects. I adored these and loved studying for these.
Everything else, like math, languages, and science, didn't have that effect on me.
But 'luck' was on my side. I'm blessed with a pretty well-functioning brain, so with not too much study, I still managed to get good enough grades for the subjects that didn't interest me.
So, nobody recognized that I could do much more. I was left in peace.
I transformed from a shy girl into a teenager (who never went through puberty), and then into a university student who discovered booze and partying, yet still managed to succeed without trouble.
Worklife
Trouble found me when I started working.
I went from living life in the highest gear to hitting the brakes hard.
Suddenly, I had to follow all these rules and fit into a 9-to-5 without any preparation for the work floor. But as a quick learner, my manager labeled me as high potential. So I got promoted. I worked in a bank office. First, doing random stuff like opening accounts. Then I became an investment advisor.
I did well, had one of the best sales results in the province. But the repetition, the regulations, the "tricks" to sell more, and an awful boss led to a complete breakdown. I was bored to death, so bored it actually made me depressed, incapable of working.
I had a boreout.
I was living with the brakes on, holding myself back, and still crashing.
So, I started therapy and career coaching. It helped for a while. I began a new job as a consultant in a more youthful environment. I had fun for a while. Went full gas until I was forced to slow down.
I got super bored, again. I didn't understand.
What's wrong with me? Why is everybody always so busy, and I'm done with my work by noon?
I doubled down: I need to be hyper-productive.
I discovered the world of the productivity gurus and later the personal growth scene. I did everything according to the books. Tried all the tricks and biohacks and invested tons of money into courses, books, and coaches.
At that time, I also became a freelance consultant. Tripling my net income overnight. Surely, if I get hired as an independent, the mindset and workload will be different.
Wrong.
At my first job as an independent, from day one (!), I knew I was heading towards a new boreout. But I stuck it out. I had to.
Horrible period.
Surely, all the productivity advice and personal growth courses would solve my problem?
Nope.
It helped a bit, but I got frustrated, worried, and anxious.
What the hell is wrong with me???
The answer
A year ago, the answer finally came in the form of neurodivergence. Some people I'd met in the personal growth scene had pointed me in the direction of giftedness.
First, I laughed in their faces. No way. Impossible.
But it crossed my path several times, so I looked into it. And lo and behold. I did recognise a lot of 'symptoms.' Eventually, I took a test. It returned positive.
And finally, the pieces fell.
There isn't anything wrong with me OR with the colleagues and managers I worked with. It's how I'm wired that is different. And because I made that part of myself invisible as a child, nobody knew or noticed. Not even me.
Understanding, accepting and being softer with myself actually helped me a lot.
(I wrote a longer piece about this if you want a deep dive.)
So, what now?
One thing is knowing, but what the heck do you do with that information? Scream it from the top of your lungs? Euh, nope. Few in my inner circle know this. It's something I'm rather private about. (Well, except, now all of you 5,556 peeps know.) But it’s an essential piece of information in this story; I don’t want to keep it to myself.
Furthermore, I still get immensely bored at work. So with knowing, it hasn’t solved my problems.
That’s why, eventually, I decided to stop forcing myself and quit the damn well-paying job.
And now I have even decided to take a full-on sabbatical.
Discovering my passion
During those boredom years, I picked something up.
And I even thank the personal growth immersion for this.
I started writing.
I discovered this thing, this activity, that flowed effortlessly out of me. That didn't feel forced and gave me a lot of fulfillment at the same time. I want more of that.
It's time for me to learn how to live without the brakes on and without pushing the gas pedal to the floor.
It's time for me to live in the now. To fully choose myself, to further discover my passion for writing and for The Bored Millennial, my precious baby.
That's my story. How and why I named this Substack The Bored Millennial and what it represents.
If you have any questions, drop them below in the comment section!
As always,
Thank you for being here!!
With love,
Marie aka The Bored Millennial
xxx
Lovely to learn a bit more about your story. I'm a millennial too, so I can also relate to your descriptions of our generation 😊
it’s so relatable. The part about discovering writing as your flow state really is.
Something so simple can feel like such a relief when you finally find it.