I don't need much to be happy

A story of slow mornings, bike rides, and letting go—without forcing it.

AI image generated with DallE, based on a picture I took.

I'm stalling and stalling on writing today.

Writer's block? Uninspired? Tired?

Probably a bit of each of those. The truth is. I'm still recovering from my dating experience. I can't deny it - I have a huge crush. And it means I can't focus on anything, really.

But I know focus would help me. Getting the spotlight away from the man and onto something else will get me out of my head. I want to stop daydreaming and wondering, 'What if?'

The absolute truth is, I wish this crush could have the chance to grow into something more—at least discover the possibility. But reality tells me 'Impossible'.

I met him one more time last week. We said goodbye; it was a beautiful moment. For a day or two, I felt grateful and happy with how it went. But by now, I'm just sad. I'm on my own again. Text exchange has died out. I'm clinging on to memories to remind myself it was real.

But I wonder. Am I back to square one? No, I refuse to believe this.

I was driving home from a beautiful day with my friends Sunday evening, and this big realization popped up. "I have to let him go." I realized I was trying to think of all possible ways to hold on. Things I could text or say. Things to have a sense of control. But the truth is - I can't control any of this. I have to let go.

While I realized this, I saw an incredible golden full moon rising. Astounded by this beautiful sight, tears filled my eyes.

The moon. The real sight was way better.

I've been writing about letting go and wondering, 'How the hell do you do this?'.

I still have not found the answer, but unconsciously, I've been dropping some heavy weights recently.

I have never felt this free in my life. I've been feeling like the old me more and more. Spending precious time with my friends and family, going out more, laughing, and enjoying the simple things in life are truly making me happy.

Friday, I experienced something I would describe as the perfect day.

I woke up with no alarm to a lovely text from this mystery man.

I took a slow morning. I cooked a fresh breakfast with eggs, avocado, and salmon. I walked Lola. I sat in the sun and read. I went to the farmers market and bought fresh veggies, meat, fish, and fruit. I reconnected with a family member I hadn't seen in a long while. I took my bike to visit grandma. My favorite nieces were there as well.

AI image generated with DallE

I didn't have anything planned for the evening.

Mom called and talked about my aunt and uncle coming over for a BBQ. I asked if I could join. Then, my cousin texted, asking me to pass by for a cocktail on the terrace. They live on the way to my parents anyway, so why not? Then I got a phone call from a dear friend asking if I wanted to pass by.

How wonderfully wholesome can life be?

And how simple is it to feel happy?

And connected?

I had a big smile on my face all day long.

When I biked home from my parents, I got a text again from the mystery man, which made me smile even more.

I went to bed joyful.

Grateful.

I don't need much to be happy.

I need my people. I need myself. I need a book. I need to be outside. I need my dog.

That's it.

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I'm telling you this story because, that same Sunday evening, on my drive home, I also realized that I've been letting go of so many things recently without consciously knowing or taking action.

I've let go of financial stress and pressure.

I've found peace in my situation. Using my savings and embracing this unique time.

I've let go of "having to build something successful."

I'm aiming for something that fulfills me instead.

I've let go of many "I MUST do this."

To do what feels right in the moment.

I've let go of trying to control all things I can't control.

And it is incredible.

I feel alive.

I feel alive again.

I feel again.

Finally.

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And maybe—just maybe—this was the writing I needed to do today.

With love,

Marie

xxx

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