How I learned to live peacefully in a world that feels broken
Less scrolling, more nature, and the choice to care differently
One day, while walking my dog, I heard the most beautiful birdsong. It stopped me in my tracks. I looked up and tried to find the little fella. Suddenly, I saw him, a blackbird, sitting in a tree, singing his heart out. I stood there, mesmerized.
How can something so simple create so much peace inside?
In a recent mindfulness class, we learned how to become still and focus on the positive aspects of the moment.
The funny thing is, you can always find something, even in the worst possible situation. You can focus on your breath and think: How wonderful is the natural flow of breathing, which grants us life?
We were asked to go out into the city, find one thing that brought us joy, and anchor our attention to it. Most of us found something in nature: a bee, a rose, a giant tree.
It struck me how easy it is to overlook the moments of awe around us.
I completely overlooked, at least for a while.
For years, I didn't see any beauty on my route home. Everything was functional: getting from point A to point B, as fast as possible. No time to enjoy the route to get there.
But maybe it’s not entirely our fault.
The beauty of life becomes increasingly obscured by the negative messages conveyed through the news, social media, and constant complaining. You become convinced that everything is bad. We get so rushed and distracted in life that we don't take the time to stand still for just a second and breathe.
The first time I thought ‘the world is so fucked up’ was when I saw a plane flying through a building on live television. I was 10 years old. Before, I had no notice of the outside world. My inner world and microsociety were big enough.
But this moment. It changed a lot.
Suddenly, I understood the concept of the crazy and unbelievable pain human beings can inflict on each other.
A perspective shift happened inside of me.
The world was a place to fear.
When the terrorist attacks happened in Paris in 2015, I was on a holiday with my parents in Sri Lanka. A wonderful trip, filled with awe moments. But there I was, sitting at breakfast in this gorgeous place, reading the breaking news. And I couldn't help but cry.
The contrast between the horrors on the other side of the world and mine felt appalling.
Year after year, I became more deeply affected by the news, tragedies, wars, pollution of the earth, and the pressure to do as much as possible to be a good person and take responsibility for problems on a global scale.
I felt guilty for eating meat, taking a plane, buying new stuff, overusing plastic, and throwing away food. At the same time, I felt grateful for having a roof over my head, living in a safe environment, and never hungry.
When I studied history, I became even more sickened by human actions.
My first year of university was in 2014, exactly 100 years after the First World War broke out in the area where I grew up, Flanders.
So we got a special class: The History of the First World War.
Let me tell you, I got nightmares every night while studying for the exam. The horrors, the meaningless deaths of hundreds of thousands of soldiers. You can't wrap your head around it.
Unfathomable.
But then I would walk to my History of the Arts class, take a seat, and become mesmerized by our professor's stories. With her sunglasses on and bright red lips, she spoke about art with such passion that you simply could not help but be in awe of humans' creations over the centuries.
Studying History had an immense impact on my life and how I view the world.
As if it was trying to show me: yes, there's horror, but also wonder.
Now, the world isn't a place I fear anymore.
I used to think caring about the world meant carrying its pain. Now I believe care begins within. The more I get at peace with myself, the more beautiful my reality becomes.
I remember vividly when I felt super alive again just by soaking in the beauty of nature.
The strong wind was blowing through my hair, and waves were crashing into the cliffs. The green grass and wildflowers were following the wind. The sun was shining, and I felt an immense wave of gratitude overwhelm me. I felt whole again. And I hadn’t felt that whole in years.
It was such a powerful feeling. Tears pricked in my eyes, and I had to breathe deeply in and out. I felt butterflies in my stomach, my heart pumping, and a connection with my body that seemed lost.
Whenever I feel like losing connection with myself, I think of that moment. I close my eyes and imagine myself standing atop a giant cliff along the Wild Atlantic Way in Ireland.
It's a memory that is not fading. This memory pops up when I think of 'happiness'. It tells me the power of nature, the power of healing, and the power of now. It reminds me who I am.
Some actions have helped immensely to get to this point, like:
Barely reading or watching the news. (Trust me, you still know what's going on if you don't follow the news, people talk about it)
Deleting social media apps from my phone. (I still check it once in a while on my laptop, but the UX is just bad, so you don't spend endless time on it)
Quitting things that ask all my mental attention (like a miserable job.)
Find moments of stillness and awe in daily walks.
Meditation.
Everyone's journey is unique, but I recommend these actions based on my personal experience.
I believe true change always starts from within.
Appreciating the simple things in life.
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